What Does Your Chinese Zodiac Say About Your Sad Single Life
Long ago, according to Chinese legend, there were twelve animals who raced for their spots on the zodiac, by crossing a river. With the Chinese New Year coming up, we’re looking towards our zodiac to find out how 2018 will treat us in the relationship department. Just like your spirit animal, you’ll find yourself running for something your sad, single self has always desired. Love.
As a romantic, I personally enjoy looking for signs, from my horoscopes to my Chinese zodiac. So why not leave my fate up to them? Hopefully it’ll be chill. In the year of the dog, we hope you’ll find someone who’ll make you go ~woof woof~. (Internally, because catcalling is bad, LOL.)
The Rat: You’ll find yourself fighting for bae with your bes.
An outrageous claim, I know. Just as the rat had cheated the ox of first place in the great race, you’re gonna end up going home with beshie’s crush. The rat’s attribute of wisdom means you’re charming and know how to handle yourself in certain situations, but when you see the finish line, you’ll find that you’re willing to ditch your friends for your end goal. The question is, will he/she be worth it?
The Ox: Prepare to be friendzoned.
Known for their strength and determination, oxen will find themselves attracting people towards their company, however it simply ends there. Your dependability, patience, and faithfulness will sadly be seen as nothing but friendly qualities. Oo, ma-effort ka. Pero masasaktan ka lang because the people you’re attracted to the most will only ever know you as a friend.
The Tiger: Time to end the bitterness””you’ll find love again.
You were scorned long ago, leaving you on a path of hate and singleness, but this year, you’ll find yourself making landi with better guys. As your valor builds, you’ll find na hindi ka na bitter. With the spirit of the tiger, you’re going to once again be confidently beautiful with a heart. Watch yourself though, as some people can easily get turned off by your grandeur, finding it douche-like.
The Rabbit: Overthinking will lead you to a breakup.
As the story goes, the rabbit was making good time on the race, hopping from rock to rock, until it worried about losing and fell into the river. You’ll find somebody to date this year, but just like the rabbit, overthinking about your partner’s actions will lead you to doubt them, and see you falling into deep water. You’re attributed to caution, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t take risks. Kaya wag ka ng magtampo. Mahalin mo na lang siya.
The Dragon: You can get anyone you want.
You can easily get into a relationship with the click of your finger. Haba ng hair mo no? There’s strength and kindness in you, both mentally and physically, and you find that you don’t need a man or woman in your life to keep you happy. At least for the meantime. As you spend your days acting as a wingman to all your friends, perhaps one day you’ll be inspired and choose to settle down. For now, you’ll continue flying high and mighty, on you own.
The Snake: Your cheating nature will be exposed.
A lowkey hoe, snakes use their flexibility, intellect, and cunningness to trick and seduce their prey. Unfortunately for you, the snake isn’t someone people trust easily, meaning you’ve got to be extra smart about what you do. This year, you’ll find yourself making a mistake that could cost you your relationship. You thought nobody would notice when you were making ahas bae, but you’re going to be exposed.
The Horse: #FOMO will ruin your relationship.
In your mind, you’re strong like the horse who galloped across the river, but when you saw the snake-like bitch, you panicked. Forging ahead is what you’re attributed to, but be careful not to leave important people behind. Yes, you’re constantly found in Valkyrie or Revel, but when you find someone to take out and they ask you to go all the way to Tagaytay, go with it instead of dreading the #fomo. If not, you’ll find yourself downloading tinder once again.
The Sheep: This is your year to find your forever.
Unity is in your nature. It’s taken time as you like being patient with your potential baes, but you think you’ve finally found your forever. The James to your Nadine. There’s someone currently in your life that you want to make yours, and thanks to your gentle, kind, and reassuring mindset, they will be in no time. Call it a budding relationship, an engagement, or a marriage, you won’t end the year alone.
The Monkey: Your pickiness will lead you to die alone.
You’re a team player which makes you lovable to friends, but your erratic mind makes you an actual workout to date. The result? The things said behind your back? Hassle siya, bro. You’re bored easily, making it hard to find the right person. Talk about stress. You often find yourself saying “Ëœthis isn’t what I want anymore’. It’s a shame, because you’re a fun person to be with. With that in mind, your naughtiness will lead to people thinking of you as a little immature. Ano to, kinder?
The Rooster: Emotional Blanket of the Year.
You’re constant. You’re safe. You’re what I imagine people would call an emotional blanket. You see, in the great race, the rooster teamed up with the sheep and monkey and allowed them to finish first. Looks like, nice guys really do finish last. You’re the hard worker in the relationship, and you obviously care more about them than they do about you. Last year was an unlucky year for you, and if you don’t change it up, gagamitin ka lang niya ulit.
The Dog: Someone will come in to test your relationship.
Dogs signify fidelity. You will find someone to love this year, and no matter how many snakes try to seduce you, you’ll always end up going home to the same person”Â¦ just maybe not on time. Gigil na gigil ka na sa attention they give you. Bakit, artista ka ba? You’re a playful character, just like the dog, and as much as people play with you, remember to go home to your master. Be careful this year, as each animal’s year is their own unluckiest moment.
The Pig: Life will find a way for you and bae.
Your friendliness is your greatest strength. Use it to make landi to potential bae. You’ve been single for the longest time, like the pig who came in last place because it ate and slept during the race. Wag ka ng mag hugot, this is your year to finally reach the finish line. Are you kilig? People love a good time, and your lax and compassionate nature draws people in as they see you as a chill person to be with, who knows all the great spots to hit up for date night.
Woof woof indeed. For those who find themselves running in the direction of a relationship, congrats! Those who were predicted single? Why not fight fate and beat the odds yourself. This Chinese New Year, find love in the club by joining us at Valkyrie Nightclub! This February 16th, try out your luck as Hathoris provides the tunes for you to get down to. See you there!