A Girl’s Guide to Keeping Things Casual
Since we’ve always been about honesty here in /ESCAPE, let’s face it : Relationships are not for everyone, TBH. The tricky realm of dating never comes with instructions, making things even more complicated.
Sis, if you’ve been needing some advice on how to keep it casual & unattached, you’ve come to the right place. Read on as we provide you with a dummies-for-dummies, extra noob and clueless guide.
Set the Record Straight
So, you’ve decided you’re not cut out for something that entails commitment. That you’re here for a good time and not exactly a long time – COOL. Let’s just put it out there : You’re just here for the benefits *cough* sexytime *cough*. Good for you. We love an empowered hennie. But to toy around with another, clueless and innocent person’s feelings? NOT COOL. Being paasa or being a player doesn’t look cute on anybody. First and foremost, make sure to set the record straight with whoever it is you’re fooling around with. Let them know you’re not looking for anything serious and that you’re not exactly keen on being anybody’s girlfriend.
We know it can be a little scary because you don’t wanna be branded as a slut or worse, a ‘fuck girl’ but hey – if you intended to keep this person in the casual only zone to begin with, why should their opinion of you matter?
Look out for Yourself – First AND ALWAYS
If you’ve been in a relationship, you’d know it’s a common problem for couples for the other person to feel like they’re being neglected because their partner focuses on their own well-being all the time. Most cases, it’s just because of miscommunication and other times, well, their partners just happen to be a tad bit self-centered.
What we’re trying to get at is that even people in COMMITTED relationships can find it hard to put forth their partner’s well-being, what more in a casual set up? You can only imagine. When it comes to casual arrangements – especially hook ups – it’s best to assume the only person looking out for you is you so always, always take everything with a grain of salt. A healthy amount of paranoia will keep you thinking on your feet. For instance, NO GLOVE, NO LOVE.
We’re not saying you have to be a self-centered biii or be egotistic, we’re just saying you have to put your well-being FIRST and ALWAYS. Trust us, sometimes it will mean cutting off the arrangement, no matter how fun it’s been, ifykwwm.
Operate on Convenience
Sis, ALWAYS remember – there is a big difference between being in a relationship and being in a ‘Friends With Benefits’ arrangement. TBH, sometimes it feels like the word ‘friends’ is just added for decoration.
That said, DON’T allow yourself to be at their disposable, whenever, wherever. Unless you’re actually free, you’re in the mood and you’re not putting off something more important like your ACTUAL FRIENDS or career. And don’t expect your FWB to always be one ~booty~ call away.
Play Fair and Play Clean
By this, we mean, manage your expectations towards your FWB to make sure you’re not going to hurt anybody while having your dose of fun. Make sure your partner is UNATTACHED too. The ‘other girl’ label will not look good on you and you don’t deserve it, either. Neither does the girl (or boy).
It’s NEVER the choice to have fun that degrades you, it’s the circumstances under which you choose to have fun. Enjoying your fun doesn’t make you a slut …but making the deliberate choice to be the other girl?? You know where we’re going with this.
Keep ‘Em Walls High
No cuddling. No sleepovers. Don’t share things you normally just share to people close to you. Keep things simple. We can’t really dictate your do’s and don’ts but always keep watch on what triggers your kilig.
Leave Your Feelings At Home
Get it, girl.