Microcheating: You Might Be Guilty of it!
As the years go by, relationships get more and more complex. Terms like ghosting and Netflix and Chill are the most basic terms. If you want to be in the major league, talk to us once you’ve figured out what Gatsbying and Pocketing is. Another new term on the block is microcheating.
Unlike physical cheating and emotional cheating, micocheating is what you’d expect it to be. It’s miniscule, barely-there, no-one-would-notice instances where you’re committing “infidelity” to your partner. They’re so subtle that no one can ever see it, maybe only the person committing it. It’s like seeing a glass of vodka and a glass or water, where is the lie?! Vodka for us, tho!
Sex experts cite that it can be as easy as “dressing differently when you know you’re going to be seeing a certain person, withholding information from your S.O. about who you’re hanging with during after-work drinks, or lying by omission.”
It can even be swiping on Tinder for fun or out of habit when you’re already committed. Some people even say that contacting an ex and hiding it from your current S.O. counts as micro-cheating. Keeping “back-up” partners is also a form of microcheating, I mean if you already have your eyes set on another why are you still keeping your #1 around?!
Another way to microcheat? Bringing your partner to fewer events, stashing one’s partner more and more. Listing someone with a fake name (ie. a girl who your S.O. calls Joe on his phone) is a major microcheat, heck, that’s totally cheating in our book!
Basic rule of thumb: if your partner won’t feel comfortable seeing you do those things, better not do it. If you feel like it’s a thin line and you otw to the wrong side, better start backing up. It’s not worth it to be labeled as a microcheater/cheater.
The moment you feel like your partner is microcheating, you speak up and tell them the truth about your feelings and what you want to be done. A mature relationship is a partnership and you guys work things out together. If you feel like a psycho to bring it to your microcheating partner, don’t! Just open it up and the moment they tell you you’re imagining things, tell them to cut the crap. The first thing ALL cheaters do is discredit you, it’s the same maneuver for dictators in history. They discredit what you believe and they feed you with their version of the truth, which is (NEWSFLASH) A LIE.
However, the microcheating line is blurry for every relationship. That is, if you even are “in a relationship”. That just might be a fauxlationship, which makes things even messier but that’s for a different day.
Microcheating not as bad as cheating-cheating but it does show that your relationship has a crack in it. If you let that tiny hole linger on, it will eventually sink the whole ship, slowly but surely. But that doesn’t mean it’s hopeless, either! It’s an early indication of what you have to work on. Patch things up and define what counts as your limit and just like any good Dom & Sub, have a safety word to call out when you’re already getting hurt.
Microcheating can easily and passively turn into major cheating. A few allowances here, a “this wouldn’t hurt” there, a couple of “it’s not really cheating, we’re just talking” there, and BOOM. We have a cheater.
Microcheating is like a habit, the more you do it, the more ingrained it is in you = the harder it is to change. It’s like a slow-growing seed that embeds itself deep in the soil before sprouting into a cute cheater flower with thorns. Moral of the story?
Cheesy as it sounds, communication and trust are key. Talk to your partner when you’re not comfortable about anything!