How I Got My Tinder Match To Become My Boyfriend
To my 21-year-old, senioritis suffering self, Tinder was the shit in 2016. Having just broken up with a toxic ex who refused to commit, I decided to do what I’ve been deprived of for five months–flirt with as many people as I could and go on several no-strings dates to curb my post-relationship migraine.
However, all that changed when I matched with my fellow newly single college crush, Miguel Santiago, on Tinder. It only took one successful ramen date during one of my lunch breaks to lead us here, four years later, at our healthiest and happiest with plans for the future in mind. (IKR, my partying, binge-drinking college self couldn’t believe it either!)
Here’s how I got him to ask me to be his girlfriend:
First moves are everything!
I’m not usually a first moves type of gal, especially since I’ve been so used to guys making the first move. However, not all guys can be so straightforward and my boyfriend was hella torpe. By asking him out first, I let him know that it was perfectly fine to let his guard down and go out with me!
Keeping it fun and flirty online is all good, but things should still be interesting on the first date.
Introverts usually have a problem with this. It’s so easy to crack jokes and pull up smooth pick-up lines on Tinder, but IRL, people can tend to get nervous and super awkward. Keep the ball rolling in your favor! Even though I was nervous as hell, I remembered that I had to let my real personality shine through. Yes, he still laughs at all my jokes to this day.
Constant communication is key.
It’s so easy to get caught up and forget to reply if your schedule is jam-packed. Understandable, but this could mean that your date could completely forget about that second date you promised you’d go on with them! Even though my future BF had a Japan trip for a week, I made sure to keep talking to him all throughout so he would think of me even from miles away.
Dates can be planned in the snap of a finger.
The internet is your best friend, especially when it comes to dating. I fought off those bouts of shyness and messaged him whenever I thought of cool date ideas we could go on together after our first date was a success! Did we get to try all of them? No. But did we see each other as often as we could? You bet.
As my boyfriend likes to say, “Don’t dismiss anyone right away before the first date.” Although our first date went great, this doesn’t mean your first with your future beau will be all smooth sailing. People rarely warm up to people instantly, so get a chance to know your date properly on a second date before figuring out whether you want a third, or fourth.
Know when it’s time to delete the app.
Have you guys finally decided that you’re exclusive? Or maybe you’d rather keep things not-so-serious? Maybe you want to put a label on it, but want to pursue an open relationship? Let your future partner know whether you want to keep or delete your dating app. Setting the right boundaries can only do wonders for whatever you want to pursue, so be as honest with them as possible. Have fun, and Happy V-Day!