#AskEscape : How To Move On From A Failed (Almost) Relationship
Let’s be honest : Aside from the pressure that comes with work and making ends meet, another dilemma adults like us are faced with is moving forward from failed relationships – or almost relationships for that matter. Official or not, it hurts just the same, tbh.
Dating can be pretty scary because at the end of the day, it can only end in two ways : *cue Blank Space by Taylor Swift* It’s gonna be forever or it’s going down in flames.
So what exactly do you do when you’re faced with the latter?
We took a little trip down memory lane & did some research. Here some ways, albeit only semi-fool proof ways, to help you move on :
Close Down The Bridge
Notice how we said close down and not exactly burn? There’s nothing wrong with wanting or intending to be friends with your (almost) ex-lover in the future but for the time being, you gotta cut ties first. Do not text. Do not stalk. Unfollow if you must. Block if you have to. And even if he (or she) does try, don’t pick up the phone.
The line needs to be drawn. It’s the first step to moving forward.
Acknowledge The Pain
They say the initial stage of moving on usually consists of lots and lots of denial. While that’s normal, you can’t heal something if you don’t acknowledge that it actually hurts. It’s necessary for you to go through the inconvenience caused by these negative emotions. Just remember that while acknowledgment is necessary, allowing the pain to eat you up entirely is optional. You just gotta coast through your emotions.
Reassess Your Story Telling
Official or not – go through the timeline of your (almost) relationship. Think about everything that has happened. Listen carefully to the way you narrate what took place. Are you seeing the situation the way it truly was? Do you think you may have romanticized certain portions a bit? Are you putting too much blame on yourself? Are you going overboard with antagonizing the other person?
For what it’s worth, there’s something you can and you will learn from this. Learning from the situation is an integral part of getting past the pain. And psychology suggests that assessing the way you narrate your life events helps an awful lot in terms of growth and healing.
Focus On Yourself
If it’s already been settled that the relationship (or whatever the hell it truly was) is truly done, then your priority should be taking care of yourself. It could be as simple as coming up with a self-care plan that addresses your basic needs or creating a bucket list of things you want to do or achieve to help you bounce back. It’s really up to you. Just keep in mind that the best way to go about this is prioritize your needs and choose you – because if you don’t, nobody else will.
Don’t Go Dating Just Yet
At one point, casually seeing other people might be a great idea. But if you’re still hurting (you gotta be honest with yourself!!!), going on dates just might add salt to the injury. If you don’t take the time and effort to heal your open wounds, you’d just end up bleeding on people who didn’t hurt you.
We hate to break it to you but life doesn’t come with instructions. There is no 100% proven, written manual to guide you through heartbreaks. Trust, however, that over time everything is bound to get better.
You got this! 2019 is going to be your best year yet – if you decide for it to be.