04 May 5 Creative Ways To Reply To “Kababae Mong Tao!”
The year is 2018.
Uber has left the Philippines, “Grab them by the pussy!” is an actual thing , Tristan Thompson is still a cheating sack of garbage, and Mark Zuckerberg just sold all our information in the name of mighty capitalism.
You’d think that once 2018 hits we’d be living in a more progressive world free from bias, racism, war, ignorance, and poverty, yet here I am—a 25-year-old woman who still lives with her mother— frustrated with the dire need for independence, all because her whole life was patterned after the phrase ‘kababae mong tao*’.
It truly is a time to be alive.
Save the argument that they were raised in a different time—whoever ‘they’ may be. The fact that this phrase still exists is clear evidence that some people are just lazy to adapt with the times. Now, while there is an option to bitch and cry and whine as your parents tell you to change your hubadera outfit for something a little bit more ‘church-girl slash virgin’, I’d rather we do otherwise.
As their beliefs remain stubborn, so shall we.
Here are some ways to combat the horrible ‘Kababae mong tao’ phrase with as much sass, class, and pizzaz as humanly possible:
- “Ay, talaga? I wasn’t aware.”
Wow, thank you for the needless reminder that I have breasts and the capacity to push an actual human being out of my precious vagina. Constant reminders like this really help me survive the daily grind. You’re so kind. Thank you.
- Laugh. Then laugh some more.
If they ask what’s funny, laugh louder and with more gusto. And then, stop abruptly and say “You.” (After which, sign them up for a comedy bar gig, because their beliefs are one big joke)
- “Wow, I’m so sorry you missed out on life. It’s great, you should try it.”
Make sure this comes from a place of concern, because a life lived without being a maximum type of woman is just sad.
So so sad.
Imagine all the fun sex with cute people they missed out on. Imagine missing out…on being ON TOP. Tears on my face—actual tears. A travesty.
- “God forbid that they won’t like me anymore after this!”
Because honestly, who in the right mind would admire a strong, independent woman who excels in her career, dresses like a bomb-ass queen, speaks her mind, and has all that paper to spend on her weekly manicures, pedicures, and monthly root touch-ups? I mean, that’s just insane. Unworldly, even.
- Just do the thing—whatever it is. Do it. Do it extra hard.
Sitting with your legs crossed can cause unnecessary varicose veins anyway. Go to that out of town trip. Make out with attractive people. Hike that skirt up. Wear that backless dress. Be an overachiever. Dump his ass. Do whatever the fuck you want, because it’s about time you do.
Who run the world? Insert every Beyoncé lyric here…ever.
You are a woman, and unapologetically so. Grab your own pussy. Grab it tight.
Let them know it grabs back.
Did you ever have a “who run the world?” moment? Share it with us in the comment box below!